All In a Days Work

Izak was throwing a fit because he didn't want to take a family picture....

Dave accidentally hurt Izak during the second take of the family picture....

Landon then hurt Dave, for hurting Izak, during the family picture....

And that's how Christmas family pictures roll around this household...

Did I mention earlier that day Landon bit Dave's nose in the middle of the choir singing (probably Peace on Earth) at church?

Story #2

I was so excited! I was packing up my little maroon truck, getting ready for the trek to Oregon. It was going to be a full weekend of snowboarding with my man. As I was walking across the parking lot, arms filled with snowboarding gear and my duffle bag, I gracefully slipped on a patch of ice and went flying into the air. I landed on the ice alongside my belongings. Quickly I looked around to see if anyone had seen my clumsiness in all of its glory. Luckily only my (now laughing) roommate. I picked myself up, grabbed my gear, and put it into the truck. I then limped my way back to my apartment. Within a matter of minutes it was as big as my behind. Later that day it was confirmed broken.

Monday morning found me walking between two friends to our spanish class. I, in my big black boot, would be getting my leg cast in a matter of hours. It had been three long days. We were within a few hundred feet of the building when all of a sudden a familiar air-born feeling was upon me. I once again found myself in the air, only this time I landed on my nose instead of my leg. Through gritted teeth I told my friends to stop laughing. Blood was quickly staining the white snow.

And then all of a sudden I was being carried in someone's arms. I looked up into the face of LaMar, our spanish class comrade. I protested, but he would not put me down. We were headed to the Student Health Center on campus to get an x-ray of my nose. And then the unmentionable, that has been mentioned twice already, happened. Within a few feet of the building, LaMar slipped on the ice, which threw me into the air. I landed on the ground with a thud. LaMar landed on top of my booted broken leg with a bigger thud.

LaMar was later recognized as "Man of the Year" at Ricks College.

Three Truths and a Lie

So, as I'm sure you all can tell, I've been having quite the dry spell with my entries lately. The other day Dave and I were playing the "Two truths and a Lie" game over text messaging. I decided to give it a try on my blog. Since I have NUMEROUS stories I could tell, I decided to make it three truths instead of two. And I decided that all of these stories will come from my college years. If you are someone that knows about these stories, please don't give it away in the comments section. I'll put a poll on the side of the blog so the voting can begin as to which story is the lie. So, without further ado, here is the first story....

L and K, my roommates, thought "Biology Boy" (a.k.a. Ben) was so cute. Every day after biology class I had to hear them gush over him. To each other. Because heaven forbid they actually talk to him. Or even look in his direction. In fact, the only reason we knew his real name is that I had happened to catch a glimpse of his paper with his name written at the top. L was just too shy to talk to him. And K thought she was flirting with a boy if she so much as smiled at him.

One day I got so tired of hearing about Ben knowing full well neither of them had any intentions of ever doing anything about it. So, I decided to do something about it. I called the college operator and got his phone number. And then I called him. And we talked. For a long time. I, of course, was using an alias because L and K would kill me if I used their real names and I personally had no interest in him. I flirted like he was the last man alive. He ate it up like candy. So much so that he wanted to know where I lived. Which of course I lied about. And wouldn't luck be on my side when he said he knew ALL of the girls in that apartment and he knew I was not one of them. I quickly hung up the phone.

A minute later it rang. L, K, and I yelled to everyone in the house NOT to answer the phone.

Our roommate answered the phone.

We were wildly shaking our heads to NOT give him any information.

She told him where we lived.

5 minutes later there was a knock at our door. We told everyone NOT to answer the door.

Our roommate answered the door.

L, K, and I ran for the back bedroom, leaped into the air, and landed with a thud, one on top of the other in between both beds. Luckily, at Ricks College, there was a rule that no boys were allowed in the bedrooms. A few minutes later we heard the door close. We tiptoed out of the bedroom and found our roommate. She then proceeded to tell us how not only did she tell the boys (we found out there were 5 boys that had come over! At midnight!) MY and only MY name, but she found my photo album and showed him pictures of ME so he could be sure to recognize me the following day in biology class.

I didn't go to biology class the next day.

Happy Halloween!!

Friends at First Sight

(Knock at the door)

Me: Hello

Random Boy: Hi. Is there a boy here with brown hair that comes about to my shoulders?

Me: Um, I have a son named Izak, is that who you're talking about?

Random Boy: I don't know. Someone just told me that there was a boy here that might be able to come ride bikes with me.

Me: Well, we're about to take naps right now, maybe he can later today though (With me riding behind him, pulling Landon in the bike trailer, of course. You know, so Izak feels super cool and like a big-boy.)

Random Boy: Okay, I'll come back later.

(Later on at Costco...)

Izak: Mom, we need to hurry so we can get home before it's dark.

Me: Why?

Izak: Because I'm suppose to go ride bikes with my friend.

So, if any of you are looking for a friend with brown hair that's about 5'7'', just come a knockin'...

Here Comes Trouble

In my social work years, I learned real quick,

some kids were made cuter, but it's a sneaky trick.

You see, the cuter they come, the bigger the trouble-makers.

and God made them just like that so there'd be takers.

You don't believe me? Then you tell me,

when's the last time you stayed mad at a cu-tie?

I should've seen the red flag when this little guy came out,

because he's as cute as a button, without a doubt.

With that being said, I'm sure you can guess

how potty-training's going, and who's having success.

I'll give you one clue, it's not this girl,

but I'll spare you the details so you won't hurl.

Yep, he's as cute as can be, but it comes with a price.

You never know if he'll be naughty or nice.

So remember the next time you say you want a cute one,

you might soon be wishing you were a childless nun!

Edited to add: Please know that this poem was written only as comedic relief for a frustrated-potty-training-parent. I know that I am very blessed to have my children, and would never wish that I did not have them (even if one poops all over my floor).

Long Overdue

So, I've been meaning to dedicate a post to my good man for a while, and seeing how it's his birthday today, I figured today would work out perfect to FINALLY get this post written.

I could tell you that the reason for this post is because of all these random reasons like...

• He's now ranked in the top 8% in his class with a 3.92 GPA (yawn).
• He makes us VERY healthy breakfast smoothies every day (even when he leaves at 6am, but not when he leaves at 4am, what's up with that?).
• He watched the boys a number of times this summer so I could go spend time with my sister in Portland and go to NYC for my big 3-0.

... but I don't want to bore all of you with those miniscule details of his life...

So the REAL reason(s) for this post is because my husband has some uniquely impressive talents that need to be highlighted such as...

• His ability to quote Ramona Quimby better than anyone else I know (It has NOTHING to do with the fact that he has me check out Ramona Quimby audiotapes for him to listen to in the car. Seriously. They're for him.) Melts. My. Heart.
• He has a very positive outlook. For example, the other day he found out that we live within 30 minutes of a nuclear power plant that if it were to explode, it would have a 50 mile radius of exposure. "But, the good thing is that we'd go really fast". See? Always positive.
• Last, but not least, Dave is a domestic extraordinaire. See the evidence below (Landon's b-day cake). All hand-crafted by Domestic Dave (he insists I call him that) himself.

It's nice to know that if this whole Doctor thing doesn't work out, he's got a fall-back plan.

Just wanted to let you know, David, that even though you are obviously getting older, you are sexier now than the day I met you. INSIDE and out. Seriously. I. LOVE. YOU.

Shout Out

Dear Maama,

David thanks you for the new office chair.

Izak thanks you even more for the new bed.

Words O' Wisdom Citings

I wouldn't be a real friend if I didn't take the time to share with you some recent valuable information that I have come across...

"Buckle up your baby! Safety in the clinic is as important as safety in your car!"

(Sign posted at doctor's clinic) Seriously?! The SAME?!

Landon feeling relieved after his building barely dodges the head-on collision with the building next door.

"It's a kilt people. If I was wearing something underneath, then it would be a skirt."

(On the back of some guy's shirt-who was wearing a kilt. I checked.)

Kilt or skirt? I guess you'll never know...

And the last, but DEFINITELY my favorite...

"God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends."

(On a PLAQUE!! at a store)

I bet you can't guess what my sisters will be getting for Christmas...

Now, be a real friend, share your most recent Words O' Wisdom citings...

Me So Smart

Ever since my brother showed up to the same math class as me (even though I was in high school and he was in junior high) I've made it my personal mission to remind others of my intelligence every chance I get. Here are just a few (of many!) examples of my smarts...

Example 1

Kate: I don't think that really looks that much like Michael Scott (speaking of a life-size cut-out at the NBC store in NYC)

Dave: That's NOT Michael Scott, Kate, it's Matt Lauer

Example 2

My sister: So, while I lived in Denmark, I toured a lot of different countries in Europe

Kate: So, did you visit China? (This was in high school, I now know that China is in Africa)

Example 3

While playing catch phrase:

Brother-in-law: (clue) He walked on the moon

Dave: (answer) Neil Armstrong

Kate: (laughing so hard until I found out he was right)

Dave: You were thinking Lance Armstrong weren't you?

Kate: Maybe...

And just so you all know how Dave and I ended up together...

Dave: (laughing) Did you see what that says on the side of that truck?

Kate: You mean the one that says "Bigelow"?

Dave: Yah, isn't that such a funny name for a business?

Kate: Why?

Dave: Get it, b-i-g-o-l-o.

Kate: Um, Dave, are you thinking of "Gigolo"?

Dave: Ooohh.

All I Want For Christmas Are...

...My two front teeth.

(Apparently Landon's infamous fall at the big BK not only damaged the tooth they extracted months ago, but also the one right next to it. Yesterday we noticed that his tooth was slightly green and by last night his mouth was swollen. It was pulled by 9am this morning.)

As you can see, Landon is still trying to adjust to his new look. If you could kindly give him a wink and a big thumbs up when you see him, it'll do wonders for his self-esteem.

And then I turned 30...

You know, I was starting to feel all sad that I was turning the big 3-0 and then I remembered just how many talents I have developed to their fullest capacities over these past 30 years and I became excited to see how many more talents I can develop in the next 30. So, in honor of turning 30, here are just a few of my many talents and accomplishments so far in life...

My ability to defend myself

My ability to blend in with those around me

My ability to be feminine

My ability to be graceful in parking lots

My ability to make my sisters happy. All. The. Time.

My ability to design/make the HOTTEST outfits ever

My ability to dress and look like a super model (far right)

My ability to look pretty WHILE exercising

My ability to look amazing in a swimsuit

My ability to make others look prettier than they already are

My ability to make any pants look good...

Bring on the 30's baby!

Happy Father's Day

Izak and Landon are so blessed to have such a good Daddy. I'd say Happy Father's Day to my Dad too, but my Dad doesn't even know how to turn on a computer, let alone what a blog is. Speaking of Father's Day....

So, about a month ago I was planning this big family get together to take place over Father's Day weekend. My brother, sister, and I were going to run the Bear Lake 1/2 marathon so it was to be a family reunion of sorts with even my parents and brothers coming from Oregon. I even convinced my family to stay through Sunday so we could all celebrate Father's Day together before everyone headed their separate directions.

So, we booked a vacation home for a couple of days and started planning. I gave everyone food assignments for each day. My sister had Sunday breakfast so I spoke to her personally and asked her to make sure that it was an extra special breakfast since it was Father's Day. She told me that it was NOT going to be Father's Day. And then I politely told her that it indeed was! Back and forth, back and forth, until she just had to prove me wrong with a calendar (who really uses those things anyway?). So, if any of you celebrated Father's Day last Sunday instead of today, you're not alone.

I have a bad habit of doing things like that. You know, making up when I think different dates should be....

It reminds me of the time that I decided it was Daylight Savings. I just randomly got in my head that the next day was Daylight Savings. So I told Dave that we needed to switch our clocks ahead one hour before we went to bed. And we did. For some reason Dave wasn't that happy when we showed up to 8am church an hour early the next day. Someone has GOT to invent something to keep all of these dates straight....

On a random tangent-since coming to Utah, we've been doing quite a bit so I thought I'd just throw in random pictures rather than bore you with useless details. So, here they are in all their (non)glory...

After watching the boys for an entire weekend so we could celebrate our anniversary (thank you Maama!!), I think Dave's mom might agree with this sign (Dinosaur museum)

Dave has his throne (on a boxcar at the train museum in Ogden)....

And Landon has his (at a children's museum in Ogden)...

You know what I love about Shelly? She always calls me before we get together to make sure we will color coordinate for our pictures. (We were lucky enough to spend some time with Shelly and her kids both at a Children's Museum and Lagoon)

I've been told I look sexier with my eyes closed (Bear Lake 1/2 marathon)

Hope you all are having a great summer!

Izak turns 4...and a 1/2

In honor of Izak's Half-Birthday (on June 2nd) here are a few stories about Izak:

Last week Izak, as a consequence, had to go out in the backyard and move rocks from one side of the house to the other (there's only so much physical labor you can have your child do with a backyard full of rocks). This process usually takes him about 10-15 minutes. Izak came back in the house within about 1 minute. I asked him if he had already moved his rocks and he told me he had. He then explained that he put all of the rocks into his dump truck and moved them all at once. 

The other day Dave and Izak were talking about mommies and daddies. Dave told Izak that you don't become a Mommy/Daddy until you're old. Izak said, "Well, Mommy's not old. Why are only Daddies old?" to which Dave responded that parents are old so they can learn how to be nice, have patience, and teach their children. And then Izak said, "Well, sometimes Mommy doesn't talk nice to me.". 

I'm not sure which is worse-being called old or your child saying you don't always talk nice to him.

I'm just kidding...it's obviously worse to be called old, sorry Dave!

And on a random side note: What does it mean if the only words my son knows how to spell (besides "Izak" and "Mom") are "poo" and "pee"?

We sure love Izak!

Happy Holidays

It was a flawless plan. 

That Arby's sign was ridiculously huge. I mean, yes, everyone loves curly fries-but who needs a life size sign to remind them of that? It was set in the perfect place for the kidnapping. Right inside the first set of doors but outside the second set-where the employees worked. So, my sister, friend, and I made the final plans as to how it would go down. 

We had nothing better to do-that is, besides being in band class. Two would grab the bigger-than-life sign and one would be the get-away driver. It almost went off without a hitch. That dang sign was so huge we couldn't shut the back door of our Toyota Camry. A small glitch, but easily overcome by simply holding the open door (with the sign sticking out) while driving down Highway 395. 

We quickly parked the car and headed into school for 7th period. On the way to class my sister informed me that she had cut her finger on the curly of the fry and needed a band-aid from the office. We bid farewell to our friend and headed for the office. 

As we opened the door to the office the school police officer stopped us dead in our tracks. "Where have you been girls?" We didn't know what to say. "I just heard from dispatch that someone stole a sign from Arby's...Was it you two? Because they said the get-away car had "Happy Holidays" written across the entire back window and I know that is your car."

"She did it!" I screamed as I pointed to my sister and then I did one of the stupidest things I've ever done (And I've done a lot.)....I ran. And my sister ran after me. And the police officer ran after her. Through the halls. During passing hour. With students everywhere. Stopping to watch the spectacle of a girl running, with another girl right behind her, with an officer right behind her. And then I remembered the officer knew me by name. And knew my parents. And knew where I lived. So I stopped running. 

It was a flawless plan...

...except for the huge "Happy Holidays" sign written in fake snow across our back window-

in the middle of March.

The Day I Became a Hero

We knew we weren't suppose to go onto my neighbor's property, but we just couldn't resist, what with the abandoned animal homes and all, it was so mysterious. And the stream. It was bone-chilling cold, but so much fun. And so we were running back from the neighbor's property quick before my mom realized we were gone. 

It always got a little tricky climbing back into our pasture from theirs. We had to climb over their fence while simultaneously clearing our hot wire fence. (You know, the kind that shock you when you pee on them?) But, it wasn't anything we couldn't handle. 

I quickly cleared both fences and continued on my way. And then I heard a scream coming from behind. I looked back to see Cricket standing on our side of the pasture, pretending as though the hot wire fence was electrocuting her. She was just standing there saying she was stuck to the fence, all the while screaming and shaking. 

At the ripe age of 10, Cricket was my best friend. And, I had to give it to her, that girl could make anyone laugh. But today, I was in no mood for her usual antics. If my mom found out we were down there in the neighbor's pasture again, I'd be in trouble for sure. So, I quickly told Cricket to knock it off and lets go before we got in trouble. AND, I reminded her that I had been shocked by that fence a bazillion times before so her little prank was not going to work on me- I knew it wasn't that strong of a shock. 

But Cricket insisted on continuing with the drama of shaking and screaming. So, I did what any child-who's-about-to-get-their-rear-end-kicked would do...I called her bluff. I left her there, knowing she would be following in two seconds flat when she realized she had no audience. 

But she didn't follow me. I turned around to see what she was doing. And she was still there, shaking and screaming. So, out of pure annoyance, I went back, pulled her away by the arm, and told her to start running. And she did.

  Right after she showed me where her leg had been (permanently) burned from the hot wire fence.

Just Call Me Lolita

If you could change your name to be anything you want, what would it be?

Helpful Hint: Don't go to an extremely religious university and change your name to "Lolita" also known as the "sexually precocious young girl" from a famous novel-or not so famous- to an ignorant, young, BYU student.

Karma

Izak splashes Dave.

Dave splashes Izak.

Izak starts to cry and throw a fit.

Kate explains to Izak that if he doesn't want Dave to splash him then he shouldn't splash Dave.

Dave tells Izak it's called Karma.

Izak tells Dave he doesn't want to play Karma anymore.

And speaking of Karma....

A month or so again I went to the zoo with some friends.

 A bird pooped on my friend's baby's head. 

I laughed. 

An hour later a bird pooped on my baby's head. 

How about you-when was the last time Karma "pooped" on your head?

Just One of Those Days

Today was just one of those days...

...when I would've been a better mother if I had just stayed in bed all day....

...when I talked through clenched teeth for fear of the unidentifiable screaming that would have ensued had I opened it...

...when I had to be reminded by my four-year-old that he is special and should be treated as such...

...when I got rained on from the top bunk (in the form of spit) courtesy of my one-year old.

...when I wanted to lock my children in a room together until I no longer heard crying and fighting...

...when the only one dressed was the self-dressing four-year-old...

...when I wanted to feed my children cookies for lunch...

...when my children looked cuter when they were sleeping...

You thought I was kidding about the pajamas didn't you?

Kids Adults Say the Darndest Things

Male relative: Kate, are you pregnant?

Me: (child is already 1 1/2 years old and NOT pregnant) Why, do I look pregnant?

Male relative: Um, um, well, yeah, kind of.

Me: No, male relative, I am not.

Costco worker (while looking at my costco id): Is this you?

Me: Yes. I know, bad picture huh? (Who has a good Costco picture, tell me that!)

Costco worker: Wow. That is bad. I thought it was your mom.

Me: Oh really? (Apparently, it looks much worse than I gave myself credit for.)

Costco worker: Yeah, that is really bad. (As she gets the attention of fellow worker) Look at this, isn't that such an awful picture?! It totally looks like her mom. Wow, that's bad!

So, in honor of ONLY turning 30 (and not my mom's age!) and NOT being pregnant, I will be flying my bad self to New York City on July 16th!

And just for your viewing pleasure, I went ahead and scanned my Costco picture into my computer so you can see it for yourself. 

What Does He Know Anyways?

So, the other day I was grabbing the jogging stroller from the garage. Unfortunately, the car was parked in the way, so I had to lift it up over the car (at least the tires) to get it out. As I was doing so Izak says, "Mommy, stop, you're scratching the car!". Riiiight. Like a jogging stroller is sharp enough to scratch a car. 

So, of course, I ignored him. I mean, seriously, what does a little 4-year-old know anyways? 

Apparently he knew 12 inches more than I did.

Maybe next time I'll listen.

All About Me

So I was talking to a friend the other day and I asked how things were going with he and his wife. He said to me, "Well, she's been really stressed. So, she's been pretty intense lately." And I said, "Intense, huh? So that's what they're calling it now?" And then we both laughed. Knowing what he really meant. I kind of like this interchange of words. And with that in mind, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself...

I am cheap frugal.

I am fiesty spunky.

I am nerdy unique.

I am lazy laid back.

See how that works? Now, why don't you give it a try.

A Day in the Life of a Social Worker

I walked into the foster home. He had only one question for me. 

Could he please keep the baby duck? I said no.

And then the name calling began.

Rocks went flying.

Sod was chucked as far as the husky 11-year-old could manage.

Spit drenched my face and clothes.

Bruises began to decorate my legs.

Teeth were sunk so deep into my arm that it was twice the size of the other and there was a permanent imprint (for a week).

We managed to break into his bedroom just in time to grab him from the second story window from which he was about to jump.

Restraints were used for 45 minutes until the police arrived.

And then he was calm. 

And he understood that he couldn't keep something that belonged to someone else. 

He would have a couple of days to think about it.

 In Detention. 

And he did. 

All the way until he went to court for his charges.

He walked into the court room. He had only one question for the Judge. 

Could

he

please

keep

the 

baby

duck

?

One Day, They'll Thank Me

So last week we took our children to the happiest place on earth. That's right. Disney-freakin'-expensive-land. (And they say you can't buy happiness! Ha!) Well, knowing that these chances only come so often, I knew my kids would want to make the most of it. So, I, being the wonderful mother I am, made sure it was everything they could've hoped for. 

For instance, when Izak wanted to ride the same ride more than once, I of course told him no! I mean, can you imagine how mad he would be at me if 10 years from now he found out he didn't ride ALL the rides at Disneyland because his lame mom let him go on the same rides over and over again? 

I even got his Maama (Grandma) to understand the importance of helping Izak to realize what he really wanted, even if that meant causing a few small heart aches in the moment in order to create lasting happiness in the future. Like the time that Izak REALLY wanted Lightning McQueen ears instead of Mickey Mouse ears-just think about it. 10 years from now that kid's not going to even know who Lightning McQueen is, let alone want to be wearing his EARS around! But you'd better believe he's still going to be sporting Mickey Mouse in Junior High. 

And then of course I couldn't believe it when Izak said he was all done and ready to go home and it was still 3 hours until closing! I can just imagine never living down how I could have possibly allowed him to leave when there was still plenty more action to get in on before the day was over. I couldn't believe he tried the old, "But my feet are so tired, I can't walk anymore" routine. Puh-lease. 

Yep. Disneyland was ALL about the kids. And one day, they'll thank me for it.

See how much fun we had?

We actually had a really great time-thanks to Dave's twin sister and her husband for being amazing hosts. They gave us their bed, cooked us amazing food every day, and helped take care of our kids when they woke up stinkin' early! And Maama was so great to meet us there, and spoiled our kids (and us by helping so much with them!!) only the way a Grandma can!! It was great, thanks guys!!

Random Reports

Landon has asked that we respect his privacy while he continues to try to embrace his new "look", so unfortunately, he won't allow me to post a picture (yet) of the new toothlessness in all its wonder. But here is a picture of Landon and I to show that we survived. And it was a "we" effort...

On another note, Dave has decided that he would like to lose a little weight. He's hoping that with this new change in eating habits, he too will soon be able to fit his behind into a bowl.

And the last randomomness for you tonight....if you too are having a hard time motivating your child to get his/her pajamas on you might try this trick..."better hurry or you might miss seeing Tatiana sing"....what?! Where did this child come from?! (Should I be concerned if my child just prayed for Tatiana?)

I guess we have Tatiana to thank for these awesome dancing moves.

Let the Deed be Done

So, I've had yet another ingenious idea. 

You know how stinkin' cute kids look when they lose that first tooth? I'm not talking about the awkward part when half their teeth are missing and the other half are half coming in. I'm talking about when that first top, middle tooth is lost. Isn't it so cute? You know it is. Well, I was thinking the other day how it's so sad that that cute stage lasts for such a short period of time. 

And then I thought, well, why does it have to last such a short time? So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make my super cute baby into a super, super cute toothless wonder baby. Forget being cute with one front tooth gone for a month or two-my baby is going to be super cute with one front tooth gone for 6 years! 6 years of pure, uninterrupted cuteness! That's right people, I've contacted a pediatric dentist who is willing to aide me in this mission and his tooth will be pulled tomorrow at 10am sharp. 

Now, don't feel sheepish if you yourself haven't had this ingenious idea. There's a lot of people like you out there. I won't in any way be offended if you, too, jump on the band wagon and use this amazingly great idea as to how to make your child that much cuter. In fact, I'll give you my recipe for success as to how you too can have a toothless wonder for 6 wonderful years (because for some reason those darn pediatric dentists won't pull a baby's tooth just for the cuteness factor-they say they need a "reason"-as if only adults are allowed to do cosmetic alterations!). So here it goes:

Take your baby to a disgusting, greasy fast food restaurant such as, oh, I don't know, let's say Burger King.

Let him stand up and walk on the bench at the table.

Distract him so he won't realize, while he's walking backwards, that he's near the edge of the bench.

Allow him to fall off of the bench, break his tooth, and damage the nerve.

Clean up all bleeding and comfort your child, reminding him that a few minutes of pain is worth 6 years of glorious beauty.

Oh, and a most important detail-you MUST do this with your child before they hit the ripe old age of 2 as an anesthesiologist will not put your child under (in order to attempt to salvage the tooth by doing a root canal and placing a cap on it) so the dentist has no choice but to pull the tooth.

So, folks, hurry on over to your local, nastiest, fast food restaurant.

(Pictures to come of the toothless wonder soon...)

Childfull Comments

I really have been neglecting to give a few 'shout outs' to some people that have really aided in this difficult thing called parenting. I've been blessed to have helpful bystanders at times when I've really needed it most, and I would be ungrateful if I did not publicly thank them for their service. 

First, a thank you must go out to the man in Las Vegas who, when he saw that I had two boys, looked at me and said, "wow, you've been busy". It's nice to be recognized for all that it takes to raise children these days....that's what he meant by "busy", right?

And then there's our HOA president. When she realized that I not only had one child, but TWO, she commented, "wow, you must really love children!". Thank you for noticing!

Then there was the time I had to run to Wal-Mart first thing in the morning and a concerned woman took it upon herself to declare to me that my child needed socks on. You know what I really appreciated about her? She recognized the importance of a democracy and took a poll with some other bystanders as to if my child was in need of socks or not and reported back to me once the results were in that, yes, he in fact did need socks.

And then lets not forget the helpful tip from the Airport Security personnel. They were very concerned when my child's face was flushed and reminded me to put sunscreen on him. Thank you, us Oregonians never did done have to use that there stuff.

Oh, and I appreciated the concerned Fry's employee that asked if my child was okay when he was in the middle of a royal tantrum. And when I reassured her that he was fine, she simply stated in disbelief, "Oh, that's just the way he is?!". Well, yes, sometimes, that's just the way he is (as some may have noticed yesterday at the park!). 

And last, but definitely not least, I appreciated my fellow flying mate and her assistance with my baby on the way to Oregon. When she recognized that my baby was less than thrilled to be stuck on an airplane, she walked me threw the steps to make his flight a little more enjoyable..."Um, does he need his diaper changed, because sometimes that helps." "Nope, he doesn't." "Is he hungry?" "No, he just doesn't like flying." "How long until we get there?" "About an hour." "An hour?! Cursidy, curse, curse, curse." 

Sometimes, when it's a rough day with  my children, and I'm just not sure what to do next, I go out in public and hope that someone will be available to give me some much needed advice.

Disclaimer: Just for the record, comments such as this do NOT offend me in any way. I only find them comical in nature and so I thought I would share. And, for the record, some days I really could use some help!

Don't Say I Never Did Anything For You

Well, I've been thinking a lot about how blessed I am to have such great family and friends. Seriously, you guys are amazing. So, I decided it was time to show you my appreciation. So, in honor of all of my friends and family, I pulled some (a lot) of strings, and got Denny's to agree to give you a FREE grand slam breakfast tomorrow morning (Tuesday) from 6am-2pm. That's right guys, FREE, no purchase necessary. All you have to do is go in to any Denny's nationwide, and whisper the secret password Kate Is The Best into their left ear while pinching their right bum cheek. This one's on me guys!

Happy Eating!

You Might Be...

You might be a little too frugal if....

....when your child notices he's the only one without a backpack on his first day of preschool (because his mom's the ONLY one who forgot to buy him one!), instead of asking you to go buy him one, he says maybe he can get one for his birthday or Christmas.

You might not have made the roles clear enough in your home (parent/child) if...

...your child puts you in time out as often as you do him.

You might steal your child's treats a little too often if....

...when he wakes up the next morning and sees that you've eaten almost the entire bag of  his Reeses Pieces he just says, "thank you mommy so much for saving me some!".

You might throw away your child's junk (aka toys) too often if...

...when your child uses all of his money to buy a Mr. Potato Head he tells you how special his new toy is to him and asks you if you will please not throw it away.

And for your viewing pleasure, here is suction-cup boy himself...

What else is a little guy suppose to do for fun since his mom won't stop throwing away all of his toys?

Dear Next-Door Neighbor,

Please do not call Child Protective Services on me. I know you were concerned for my child's welfare when you heard blood-curdling screaming for 30 minutes straight this morning with me threatening in the background and finally sitting on my child in order to get the job finished, but I can promise you that it was just another routine hair cut for my son Izak. 

And I'm sure your sense of obligation to call was heightened when you noticed that I left my baby out in the driveway in a stroller sleeping by himself for about 15 minutes.  Despite popular belief, rather than watching The Young and the Restless, I was actually cleaning, calming, and comforting my son while both his bum and stomach were exploding at the same time. 

If we could please just keep these minor incidents between you and I, I would be much obliged. Thank you for your understanding. 

Sincerely,

Kate

P.S.

I tried my hardest to not get throw-up all over your beautifully landscaped rocks while I was washing down our driveway/rocks from another one of my child's eruptions. I hope this will suffice as a peace offering.

I'm alive!

Signs that (long distance) running may not be for you:

1. You get super grumpy and mean to your husband every time right before a long distance run.

2. You have to bribe yourself to go running by eating a peanut m&m for every mile you go.

3. Instead of stretching and/or visualizing your performance right before your marathon, you put your make up on.

4. You have to buy yourself cute workout clothes to motivate yourself to go running.

5. You complain as much as your four-year-old does about going running.

6. The most exciting part about running a marathon is so you can stop running so much.

And that is why I now present to you the results of my one AND ONLY marathon....

A picture of me before I was stripped of my innocence to many pants being dropped to do their business in every bush and corner to be found along the way. (Note to self: Next time you're wondering why someone randomly ran over to a bush RIGHT NEXT TO THE STREET, don't watch to find out)

Can we just start this thing so I'm not so stinkin' cold?!

13.1 miles, half way done! (Click on this picture to see the guy next to me-he ran like that the WHOLE way (I think I heard him saying something about stuff getting all over his shoes while he was doing something behind a bush-whatever that meant!))

Unfortunately, I have no proof that I finished the marathon (Dave was so excited about me finishing-he left the camera in the car for that part!)...so, I guess you'll just have to take my word for it...and that I did the infamous ballerina jump, which I did. And you all would've been proud. It was a sweet finish. I'm sorry to disappoint some of you, but unfortunately, I couldn't quite make my goal of 5 hours. I caved to temptation and I sped up just a little bit. I hope you will all still be proud of me despite my obvious sign of weakness. 

But in all seriousness, it was great. It went as well as I could've hoped for. And thank you to everyone that was so sweet and supportive of me. I have some really amazing friends and family. You all made me feel so loved by sending and giving me cards, GU packs, good luck phone calls, a VERY SWEET good luck bag of goodies, facebook well wishes, and LONG HOURS of driving in a car from California and Utah. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. But, the greatest sign of love and support has to go to my husband. Dave was SO excited to see me run as much as possible that after he cheered me on at mile 4 he quickly got in the car, drove for about 10 minutes, jumped out, and ran to the next spot to cheer me on. He patiently waited for 15 minutes to cheer me on and didn't even get frustrated when I was nowhere in sight. And then he looked down the street and wondered why all the spectators looked familiar. He then realized he was 2 blocks down from where he had last faithfully cheered me on....thank you Dave for cheering me on every chance you got!!