Blogging is so, like 2010, am I right?

I know blogging is like, totally not cool anymore, which means it's the perfect time for me to start blogging again. Such is my life...always on the brink of coolness.

My grandma passed away almost two weeks ago. After she passed, my mom emailed us a bunch of my grandma's journal entries. Though most of them were really short, I loved going through and reading them to get even a small glimpse into her life. It gave me the renewed desire to journal more.

So.... to lure you all back into the avid readers/stalkers you once were of this awesome blog, I've got a great story to share with you. Speaking of brink of coolness...

Our church had a Halloween trunk or treat a few months ago, you know, around Halloween. I happened to be talking to a group of people (Keep in mind, I was excited about this since we had just barely moved here and really don't know very many people. I was thinking, "look at Dave and I, making friends, like we're cool and all that".).

While talking to them, I was sipping some cider, but then decided I no longer wanted it when I realized it had as much sugar in it as a donut, so why the heck would I drink cider when I might as well be eating a donut?! I turned to throw my cider on the grass right as I heard one of the guys with whom we were talking saying how much less sugar the huge marshmallow he was eating had in comparison to other things (yes, we are all healthy like that....now, is it healthier to eat a marshmallow, a donut, or drink cider?), so of course I had to quickly stop my cider throwing and turn to jump in on that conversation.

I quickly turned, said my piece about sugar, and then turned back again to proceed to throw out my cider onto the grass. Only problem was, in the 30 seconds I turned, joined the conversation, and then turned back, someone had started walking right by me. Do you see where this is going? And it was like watching a slow motion train wreck, but I was the train, and I couldn't stop the wreck. My arm was already in motion.

Next thing I know, I see myself throwing my apple cider ALL down the front of some lady's pants. Someone I've never seen before. And it wasn't a little cider. It was a cup full. As in, she was drenched and it was dripping off of her. To make matters worse, I just started laughing uncontrollably. And the lady sat there staring at me. In between bouts of laughter, I kept apologizing profusely. She kept staring at me. Then I pulled myself together enough to tell her I'd run in the bathroom and grab some paper towel. (Yes, she was that wet.) I came out of the church with the paper towel and awkwardly asked her if she'd like me to wipe her down. She didn't.

Seriously, it was awful. And so hilarious. I don't think I stopped laughing for about an hour. Needless to say, I haven't spoken with any of the parties involved (witnesses or victim) since. For some reason, I haven't seen them around since then. So, if you are all wondering how much I've changed over these past few years, rest easy, I'm still here. In all my glory.

Now, let's talk about you...what have you been up to these past few years?

The Four Agreements

I started reading a book recently titled, "The Four Agreements". I have a friend who teaches classes at a local college about changing thinking patterns and she recommended this book to me. So far, I really like it.

One of the first things mentioned in the book is how so many of us live our lives out of fear. Here are a few points I really liked about fear that it mentions, "Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive---the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else."

It goes on to say that because we live our lives out of fear and try to create this illusion of perfection so that others will not reject us, we begin to loathe ourselves because we can never really be perfect. And because we loathe ourselves, we begin to abuse ourselves through guilt and shame. About abuse it states, "The limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly."

I think this is a such an empowering concept. I know there have been times in my life that I have allowed myself to be abused by others with their words and when I reflect back on those times and where I was at mentally, I can see direct correlations between others' actions and what I thought about myself.

The one situation where I don't agree with this concept that is in the case of a child being abused by an adult. I don't believe they "allow" themselves to be abused because they are abusing themselves just as much or more in their own minds. Because, as a child, you don't have the choice (in most cases) to stay or leave the abusive situation. What do you think about this? Have you found this to be true in your life? Or do you think it's a bunch of crock?

Since no one reads this blog anymore anyways...

I'm sure by now no one is reading this blog, so I've decided that makes it the perfect time to start writing my thoughts. So, this blog (for the time being) will be my unedited version of what I REALLY think (I just edited that sentence like five times). I know you've been waiting on pins and needles for the inner workings of my soul, so here you have it, in all it's glory....

A few months ago I was struggling with feeling like someone in my life didn't care to have a relationship with me. It hurt. It hurt because I respect this person a lot and think they are amazing. And it hurt to feel like this person didn't see the same value in me. I was reflecting on this situation when all of a sudden the words came into my mind, "they're doing the best they can". And instead of thinking about how hurt I felt about what they did or didn't do, I thought about all that they had on their plate at the time, and how busy their life was. And I realized, I was making this about me, but maybe it had nothing to do with me at all. Maybe it just had to do with where they were at and what they could give in that moment of time.

I'm listening to "The Book Thief" right now. In it, the narrator says, "And they did what humans do best, they made it about themselves." (Or something to that effect.) I wonder, how many times do I do that? How many times do I have encounters with those around me and they do something that I in turn make about myself, when really it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it has to do with them having a bad day at work, struggling with mental illness, dealing with infertility, or any other number of things. How much kinder, softer, more empathetic would my interactions with others be if I could see others as simply trying to do the best they can rather than choosing to make it into something about me? Because honestly, I think most of us are just trying to do the best we can....

So, here's to you-just keep doing your best. Because your best (and my best), are good enough. No matter what that best looks like. And I'm resolving to try a little harder to not make so many things about me.

New Blog...

So, I've decided to start a new blog in order to document our lives while in the Army... check it out! I promise it'll be REALLY awesome (read: probably bore you to tears, but just humor me!)

www.lifeasthewifeofanarmydoctor.blogspot.com


Eventually I hope to come back to this blog and starting writing again once our lives have been handed back to us-you know, once Dave is no longer in the Army.

Yep, It's Really True....

We really are having another baby! We are due on October 9th. And I'm sure most of you have the same question the doctor did-----yes, this was planned! We're very excited!

"Oops, We Did It Again...."

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Wow...can't believe it's been 3 months since I've posted on here! I've had so many things to post about, but life has been a bit crazy, and my mind is failing me at the moment...so, I'm posting a very random story today (because lets be honest, when am I not random?)...

Before I tell this story, let it be known that I do NOT condone the behavior that I am about share with you in any way. Especially if you are my children. Or the young women in my ward. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It was my senior year of high school and a friend and I had been hanging out one evening. It was nearing midnight, so we decided to head back to his house. We happen to have a few eggs in our car. Of the unboiled sort. (You know where this is going, right?) So, we decided to use them. On a passing vehicle. (Read: Bad idea. Don't try this at home. Or in your car.) So, as the next oncoming car approached, we threw an egg, hitting the car right in the middle of the windshield.

We looked in our rear-view mirror and saw the car flip around and start coming after us.

So, we decided to one-up it. We too flipped around and just as we were passing the car, we again threw an egg. And again hit the car right on the windshield.

Again we saw the car flip around and start pursuing us. And again we flipped our car around. Except we had no eggs left. We did, however, happen to have a carton of milk. So, we threw that at the car. And nailed it.

After that we decided we'd better book it to my friend's house so we wouldn't be late for curfew (Because we apparently were trying to make some good choices??). We pulled into the driveway right on time.

And then another car pulled in right behind us.

With eggs and milk all over it.

And his dad stepped out of the car.