I'm sure by now no one is reading this blog, so I've decided that makes it the perfect time to start writing my thoughts. So, this blog (for the time being) will be my unedited version of what I REALLY think (I just edited that sentence like five times). I know you've been waiting on pins and needles for the inner workings of my soul, so here you have it, in all it's glory....
A few months ago I was struggling with feeling like someone in my life didn't care to have a relationship with me. It hurt. It hurt because I respect this person a lot and think they are amazing. And it hurt to feel like this person didn't see the same value in me. I was reflecting on this situation when all of a sudden the words came into my mind, "they're doing the best they can". And instead of thinking about how hurt I felt about what they did or didn't do, I thought about all that they had on their plate at the time, and how busy their life was. And I realized, I was making this about me, but maybe it had nothing to do with me at all. Maybe it just had to do with where they were at and what they could give in that moment of time.
I'm listening to "The Book Thief" right now. In it, the narrator says, "And they did what humans do best, they made it about themselves." (Or something to that effect.) I wonder, how many times do I do that? How many times do I have encounters with those around me and they do something that I in turn make about myself, when really it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it has to do with them having a bad day at work, struggling with mental illness, dealing with infertility, or any other number of things. How much kinder, softer, more empathetic would my interactions with others be if I could see others as simply trying to do the best they can rather than choosing to make it into something about me? Because honestly, I think most of us are just trying to do the best we can....
So, here's to you-just keep doing your best. Because your best (and my best), are good enough. No matter what that best looks like. And I'm resolving to try a little harder to not make so many things about me.
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3 comments:
Good insights! Thanks for sharing.
Ha! You thought no one was reading...nicely put.
Looks like you've got some readers! I hope that doesn't deter you from getting down to the nitty gritty.
I'm attening Al-Anon and it talks about detachment with love. I think it has some overlap to what you're sharing. When someone is struggling, instead of trying to fix/control/judge it etc., you hold a space of love for them and trust that they are following their own inner compass and they will sort things out. And then taking care of yourself and making sure you are getting your needs met so things don't come out sideways. I feel like this is a really good approach to take.
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