Izak turns 4...and a 1/2

In honor of Izak's Half-Birthday (on June 2nd) here are a few stories about Izak:

Last week Izak, as a consequence, had to go out in the backyard and move rocks from one side of the house to the other (there's only so much physical labor you can have your child do with a backyard full of rocks). This process usually takes him about 10-15 minutes. Izak came back in the house within about 1 minute. I asked him if he had already moved his rocks and he told me he had. He then explained that he put all of the rocks into his dump truck and moved them all at once. 

The other day Dave and Izak were talking about mommies and daddies. Dave told Izak that you don't become a Mommy/Daddy until you're old. Izak said, "Well, Mommy's not old. Why are only Daddies old?" to which Dave responded that parents are old so they can learn how to be nice, have patience, and teach their children. And then Izak said, "Well, sometimes Mommy doesn't talk nice to me.". 

I'm not sure which is worse-being called old or your child saying you don't always talk nice to him.

I'm just kidding...it's obviously worse to be called old, sorry Dave!

And on a random side note: What does it mean if the only words my son knows how to spell (besides "Izak" and "Mom") are "poo" and "pee"?

We sure love Izak!

Happy Holidays

It was a flawless plan. 

That Arby's sign was ridiculously huge. I mean, yes, everyone loves curly fries-but who needs a life size sign to remind them of that? It was set in the perfect place for the kidnapping. Right inside the first set of doors but outside the second set-where the employees worked. So, my sister, friend, and I made the final plans as to how it would go down. 

We had nothing better to do-that is, besides being in band class. Two would grab the bigger-than-life sign and one would be the get-away driver. It almost went off without a hitch. That dang sign was so huge we couldn't shut the back door of our Toyota Camry. A small glitch, but easily overcome by simply holding the open door (with the sign sticking out) while driving down Highway 395. 

We quickly parked the car and headed into school for 7th period. On the way to class my sister informed me that she had cut her finger on the curly of the fry and needed a band-aid from the office. We bid farewell to our friend and headed for the office. 

As we opened the door to the office the school police officer stopped us dead in our tracks. "Where have you been girls?" We didn't know what to say. "I just heard from dispatch that someone stole a sign from Arby's...Was it you two? Because they said the get-away car had "Happy Holidays" written across the entire back window and I know that is your car."

"She did it!" I screamed as I pointed to my sister and then I did one of the stupidest things I've ever done (And I've done a lot.)....I ran. And my sister ran after me. And the police officer ran after her. Through the halls. During passing hour. With students everywhere. Stopping to watch the spectacle of a girl running, with another girl right behind her, with an officer right behind her. And then I remembered the officer knew me by name. And knew my parents. And knew where I lived. So I stopped running. 

It was a flawless plan...

...except for the huge "Happy Holidays" sign written in fake snow across our back window-

in the middle of March.

The Day I Became a Hero

We knew we weren't suppose to go onto my neighbor's property, but we just couldn't resist, what with the abandoned animal homes and all, it was so mysterious. And the stream. It was bone-chilling cold, but so much fun. And so we were running back from the neighbor's property quick before my mom realized we were gone. 

It always got a little tricky climbing back into our pasture from theirs. We had to climb over their fence while simultaneously clearing our hot wire fence. (You know, the kind that shock you when you pee on them?) But, it wasn't anything we couldn't handle. 

I quickly cleared both fences and continued on my way. And then I heard a scream coming from behind. I looked back to see Cricket standing on our side of the pasture, pretending as though the hot wire fence was electrocuting her. She was just standing there saying she was stuck to the fence, all the while screaming and shaking. 

At the ripe age of 10, Cricket was my best friend. And, I had to give it to her, that girl could make anyone laugh. But today, I was in no mood for her usual antics. If my mom found out we were down there in the neighbor's pasture again, I'd be in trouble for sure. So, I quickly told Cricket to knock it off and lets go before we got in trouble. AND, I reminded her that I had been shocked by that fence a bazillion times before so her little prank was not going to work on me- I knew it wasn't that strong of a shock. 

But Cricket insisted on continuing with the drama of shaking and screaming. So, I did what any child-who's-about-to-get-their-rear-end-kicked would do...I called her bluff. I left her there, knowing she would be following in two seconds flat when she realized she had no audience. 

But she didn't follow me. I turned around to see what she was doing. And she was still there, shaking and screaming. So, out of pure annoyance, I went back, pulled her away by the arm, and told her to start running. And she did.

  Right after she showed me where her leg had been (permanently) burned from the hot wire fence.

Just Call Me Lolita

If you could change your name to be anything you want, what would it be?

Helpful Hint: Don't go to an extremely religious university and change your name to "Lolita" also known as the "sexually precocious young girl" from a famous novel-or not so famous- to an ignorant, young, BYU student.

Karma

Izak splashes Dave.

Dave splashes Izak.

Izak starts to cry and throw a fit.

Kate explains to Izak that if he doesn't want Dave to splash him then he shouldn't splash Dave.

Dave tells Izak it's called Karma.

Izak tells Dave he doesn't want to play Karma anymore.

And speaking of Karma....

A month or so again I went to the zoo with some friends.

 A bird pooped on my friend's baby's head. 

I laughed. 

An hour later a bird pooped on my baby's head. 

How about you-when was the last time Karma "pooped" on your head?

Just One of Those Days

Today was just one of those days...

...when I would've been a better mother if I had just stayed in bed all day....

...when I talked through clenched teeth for fear of the unidentifiable screaming that would have ensued had I opened it...

...when I had to be reminded by my four-year-old that he is special and should be treated as such...

...when I got rained on from the top bunk (in the form of spit) courtesy of my one-year old.

...when I wanted to lock my children in a room together until I no longer heard crying and fighting...

...when the only one dressed was the self-dressing four-year-old...

...when I wanted to feed my children cookies for lunch...

...when my children looked cuter when they were sleeping...

You thought I was kidding about the pajamas didn't you?

Kids Adults Say the Darndest Things

Male relative: Kate, are you pregnant?

Me: (child is already 1 1/2 years old and NOT pregnant) Why, do I look pregnant?

Male relative: Um, um, well, yeah, kind of.

Me: No, male relative, I am not.

Costco worker (while looking at my costco id): Is this you?

Me: Yes. I know, bad picture huh? (Who has a good Costco picture, tell me that!)

Costco worker: Wow. That is bad. I thought it was your mom.

Me: Oh really? (Apparently, it looks much worse than I gave myself credit for.)

Costco worker: Yeah, that is really bad. (As she gets the attention of fellow worker) Look at this, isn't that such an awful picture?! It totally looks like her mom. Wow, that's bad!

So, in honor of ONLY turning 30 (and not my mom's age!) and NOT being pregnant, I will be flying my bad self to New York City on July 16th!

And just for your viewing pleasure, I went ahead and scanned my Costco picture into my computer so you can see it for yourself.