All About Me

So I was talking to a friend the other day and I asked how things were going with he and his wife. He said to me, "Well, she's been really stressed. So, she's been pretty intense lately." And I said, "Intense, huh? So that's what they're calling it now?" And then we both laughed. Knowing what he really meant. I kind of like this interchange of words. And with that in mind, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself...

I am cheap frugal.

I am fiesty spunky.

I am nerdy unique.

I am lazy laid back.

See how that works? Now, why don't you give it a try.

A Day in the Life of a Social Worker

I walked into the foster home. He had only one question for me. 

Could he please keep the baby duck? I said no.

And then the name calling began.

Rocks went flying.

Sod was chucked as far as the husky 11-year-old could manage.

Spit drenched my face and clothes.

Bruises began to decorate my legs.

Teeth were sunk so deep into my arm that it was twice the size of the other and there was a permanent imprint (for a week).

We managed to break into his bedroom just in time to grab him from the second story window from which he was about to jump.

Restraints were used for 45 minutes until the police arrived.

And then he was calm. 

And he understood that he couldn't keep something that belonged to someone else. 

He would have a couple of days to think about it.

 In Detention. 

And he did. 

All the way until he went to court for his charges.

He walked into the court room. He had only one question for the Judge. 

Could

he

please

keep

the 

baby

duck

?

One Day, They'll Thank Me

So last week we took our children to the happiest place on earth. That's right. Disney-freakin'-expensive-land. (And they say you can't buy happiness! Ha!) Well, knowing that these chances only come so often, I knew my kids would want to make the most of it. So, I, being the wonderful mother I am, made sure it was everything they could've hoped for. 

For instance, when Izak wanted to ride the same ride more than once, I of course told him no! I mean, can you imagine how mad he would be at me if 10 years from now he found out he didn't ride ALL the rides at Disneyland because his lame mom let him go on the same rides over and over again? 

I even got his Maama (Grandma) to understand the importance of helping Izak to realize what he really wanted, even if that meant causing a few small heart aches in the moment in order to create lasting happiness in the future. Like the time that Izak REALLY wanted Lightning McQueen ears instead of Mickey Mouse ears-just think about it. 10 years from now that kid's not going to even know who Lightning McQueen is, let alone want to be wearing his EARS around! But you'd better believe he's still going to be sporting Mickey Mouse in Junior High. 

And then of course I couldn't believe it when Izak said he was all done and ready to go home and it was still 3 hours until closing! I can just imagine never living down how I could have possibly allowed him to leave when there was still plenty more action to get in on before the day was over. I couldn't believe he tried the old, "But my feet are so tired, I can't walk anymore" routine. Puh-lease. 

Yep. Disneyland was ALL about the kids. And one day, they'll thank me for it.

See how much fun we had?

We actually had a really great time-thanks to Dave's twin sister and her husband for being amazing hosts. They gave us their bed, cooked us amazing food every day, and helped take care of our kids when they woke up stinkin' early! And Maama was so great to meet us there, and spoiled our kids (and us by helping so much with them!!) only the way a Grandma can!! It was great, thanks guys!!

Random Reports

Landon has asked that we respect his privacy while he continues to try to embrace his new "look", so unfortunately, he won't allow me to post a picture (yet) of the new toothlessness in all its wonder. But here is a picture of Landon and I to show that we survived. And it was a "we" effort...

On another note, Dave has decided that he would like to lose a little weight. He's hoping that with this new change in eating habits, he too will soon be able to fit his behind into a bowl.

And the last randomomness for you tonight....if you too are having a hard time motivating your child to get his/her pajamas on you might try this trick..."better hurry or you might miss seeing Tatiana sing"....what?! Where did this child come from?! (Should I be concerned if my child just prayed for Tatiana?)

I guess we have Tatiana to thank for these awesome dancing moves.

Let the Deed be Done

So, I've had yet another ingenious idea. 

You know how stinkin' cute kids look when they lose that first tooth? I'm not talking about the awkward part when half their teeth are missing and the other half are half coming in. I'm talking about when that first top, middle tooth is lost. Isn't it so cute? You know it is. Well, I was thinking the other day how it's so sad that that cute stage lasts for such a short period of time. 

And then I thought, well, why does it have to last such a short time? So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and make my super cute baby into a super, super cute toothless wonder baby. Forget being cute with one front tooth gone for a month or two-my baby is going to be super cute with one front tooth gone for 6 years! 6 years of pure, uninterrupted cuteness! That's right people, I've contacted a pediatric dentist who is willing to aide me in this mission and his tooth will be pulled tomorrow at 10am sharp. 

Now, don't feel sheepish if you yourself haven't had this ingenious idea. There's a lot of people like you out there. I won't in any way be offended if you, too, jump on the band wagon and use this amazingly great idea as to how to make your child that much cuter. In fact, I'll give you my recipe for success as to how you too can have a toothless wonder for 6 wonderful years (because for some reason those darn pediatric dentists won't pull a baby's tooth just for the cuteness factor-they say they need a "reason"-as if only adults are allowed to do cosmetic alterations!). So here it goes:

Take your baby to a disgusting, greasy fast food restaurant such as, oh, I don't know, let's say Burger King.

Let him stand up and walk on the bench at the table.

Distract him so he won't realize, while he's walking backwards, that he's near the edge of the bench.

Allow him to fall off of the bench, break his tooth, and damage the nerve.

Clean up all bleeding and comfort your child, reminding him that a few minutes of pain is worth 6 years of glorious beauty.

Oh, and a most important detail-you MUST do this with your child before they hit the ripe old age of 2 as an anesthesiologist will not put your child under (in order to attempt to salvage the tooth by doing a root canal and placing a cap on it) so the dentist has no choice but to pull the tooth.

So, folks, hurry on over to your local, nastiest, fast food restaurant.

(Pictures to come of the toothless wonder soon...)

Childfull Comments

I really have been neglecting to give a few 'shout outs' to some people that have really aided in this difficult thing called parenting. I've been blessed to have helpful bystanders at times when I've really needed it most, and I would be ungrateful if I did not publicly thank them for their service. 

First, a thank you must go out to the man in Las Vegas who, when he saw that I had two boys, looked at me and said, "wow, you've been busy". It's nice to be recognized for all that it takes to raise children these days....that's what he meant by "busy", right?

And then there's our HOA president. When she realized that I not only had one child, but TWO, she commented, "wow, you must really love children!". Thank you for noticing!

Then there was the time I had to run to Wal-Mart first thing in the morning and a concerned woman took it upon herself to declare to me that my child needed socks on. You know what I really appreciated about her? She recognized the importance of a democracy and took a poll with some other bystanders as to if my child was in need of socks or not and reported back to me once the results were in that, yes, he in fact did need socks.

And then lets not forget the helpful tip from the Airport Security personnel. They were very concerned when my child's face was flushed and reminded me to put sunscreen on him. Thank you, us Oregonians never did done have to use that there stuff.

Oh, and I appreciated the concerned Fry's employee that asked if my child was okay when he was in the middle of a royal tantrum. And when I reassured her that he was fine, she simply stated in disbelief, "Oh, that's just the way he is?!". Well, yes, sometimes, that's just the way he is (as some may have noticed yesterday at the park!). 

And last, but definitely not least, I appreciated my fellow flying mate and her assistance with my baby on the way to Oregon. When she recognized that my baby was less than thrilled to be stuck on an airplane, she walked me threw the steps to make his flight a little more enjoyable..."Um, does he need his diaper changed, because sometimes that helps." "Nope, he doesn't." "Is he hungry?" "No, he just doesn't like flying." "How long until we get there?" "About an hour." "An hour?! Cursidy, curse, curse, curse." 

Sometimes, when it's a rough day with  my children, and I'm just not sure what to do next, I go out in public and hope that someone will be available to give me some much needed advice.

Disclaimer: Just for the record, comments such as this do NOT offend me in any way. I only find them comical in nature and so I thought I would share. And, for the record, some days I really could use some help!

Don't Say I Never Did Anything For You

Well, I've been thinking a lot about how blessed I am to have such great family and friends. Seriously, you guys are amazing. So, I decided it was time to show you my appreciation. So, in honor of all of my friends and family, I pulled some (a lot) of strings, and got Denny's to agree to give you a FREE grand slam breakfast tomorrow morning (Tuesday) from 6am-2pm. That's right guys, FREE, no purchase necessary. All you have to do is go in to any Denny's nationwide, and whisper the secret password Kate Is The Best into their left ear while pinching their right bum cheek. This one's on me guys!

Happy Eating!