Here Comes Trouble

In my social work years, I learned real quick,

some kids were made cuter, but it's a sneaky trick.

You see, the cuter they come, the bigger the trouble-makers.

and God made them just like that so there'd be takers.

You don't believe me? Then you tell me,

when's the last time you stayed mad at a cu-tie?

I should've seen the red flag when this little guy came out,

because he's as cute as a button, without a doubt.

With that being said, I'm sure you can guess

how potty-training's going, and who's having success.

I'll give you one clue, it's not this girl,

but I'll spare you the details so you won't hurl.

Yep, he's as cute as can be, but it comes with a price.

You never know if he'll be naughty or nice.

So remember the next time you say you want a cute one,

you might soon be wishing you were a childless nun!

Edited to add: Please know that this poem was written only as comedic relief for a frustrated-potty-training-parent. I know that I am very blessed to have my children, and would never wish that I did not have them (even if one poops all over my floor).

Long Overdue

So, I've been meaning to dedicate a post to my good man for a while, and seeing how it's his birthday today, I figured today would work out perfect to FINALLY get this post written.

I could tell you that the reason for this post is because of all these random reasons like...

• He's now ranked in the top 8% in his class with a 3.92 GPA (yawn).
• He makes us VERY healthy breakfast smoothies every day (even when he leaves at 6am, but not when he leaves at 4am, what's up with that?).
• He watched the boys a number of times this summer so I could go spend time with my sister in Portland and go to NYC for my big 3-0.

... but I don't want to bore all of you with those miniscule details of his life...

So the REAL reason(s) for this post is because my husband has some uniquely impressive talents that need to be highlighted such as...

• His ability to quote Ramona Quimby better than anyone else I know (It has NOTHING to do with the fact that he has me check out Ramona Quimby audiotapes for him to listen to in the car. Seriously. They're for him.) Melts. My. Heart.
• He has a very positive outlook. For example, the other day he found out that we live within 30 minutes of a nuclear power plant that if it were to explode, it would have a 50 mile radius of exposure. "But, the good thing is that we'd go really fast". See? Always positive.
• Last, but not least, Dave is a domestic extraordinaire. See the evidence below (Landon's b-day cake). All hand-crafted by Domestic Dave (he insists I call him that) himself.

It's nice to know that if this whole Doctor thing doesn't work out, he's got a fall-back plan.

Just wanted to let you know, David, that even though you are obviously getting older, you are sexier now than the day I met you. INSIDE and out. Seriously. I. LOVE. YOU.

Shout Out

Dear Maama,

David thanks you for the new office chair.

Izak thanks you even more for the new bed.

Words O' Wisdom Citings

I wouldn't be a real friend if I didn't take the time to share with you some recent valuable information that I have come across...

"Buckle up your baby! Safety in the clinic is as important as safety in your car!"

(Sign posted at doctor's clinic) Seriously?! The SAME?!

Landon feeling relieved after his building barely dodges the head-on collision with the building next door.

"It's a kilt people. If I was wearing something underneath, then it would be a skirt."

(On the back of some guy's shirt-who was wearing a kilt. I checked.)

Kilt or skirt? I guess you'll never know...

And the last, but DEFINITELY my favorite...

"God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends."

(On a PLAQUE!! at a store)

I bet you can't guess what my sisters will be getting for Christmas...

Now, be a real friend, share your most recent Words O' Wisdom citings...

Me So Smart

Ever since my brother showed up to the same math class as me (even though I was in high school and he was in junior high) I've made it my personal mission to remind others of my intelligence every chance I get. Here are just a few (of many!) examples of my smarts...

Example 1

Kate: I don't think that really looks that much like Michael Scott (speaking of a life-size cut-out at the NBC store in NYC)

Dave: That's NOT Michael Scott, Kate, it's Matt Lauer

Example 2

My sister: So, while I lived in Denmark, I toured a lot of different countries in Europe

Kate: So, did you visit China? (This was in high school, I now know that China is in Africa)

Example 3

While playing catch phrase:

Brother-in-law: (clue) He walked on the moon

Dave: (answer) Neil Armstrong

Kate: (laughing so hard until I found out he was right)

Dave: You were thinking Lance Armstrong weren't you?

Kate: Maybe...

And just so you all know how Dave and I ended up together...

Dave: (laughing) Did you see what that says on the side of that truck?

Kate: You mean the one that says "Bigelow"?

Dave: Yah, isn't that such a funny name for a business?

Kate: Why?

Dave: Get it, b-i-g-o-l-o.

Kate: Um, Dave, are you thinking of "Gigolo"?

Dave: Ooohh.

All I Want For Christmas Are...

...My two front teeth.

(Apparently Landon's infamous fall at the big BK not only damaged the tooth they extracted months ago, but also the one right next to it. Yesterday we noticed that his tooth was slightly green and by last night his mouth was swollen. It was pulled by 9am this morning.)

As you can see, Landon is still trying to adjust to his new look. If you could kindly give him a wink and a big thumbs up when you see him, it'll do wonders for his self-esteem.

And then I turned 30...

You know, I was starting to feel all sad that I was turning the big 3-0 and then I remembered just how many talents I have developed to their fullest capacities over these past 30 years and I became excited to see how many more talents I can develop in the next 30. So, in honor of turning 30, here are just a few of my many talents and accomplishments so far in life...

My ability to defend myself

My ability to blend in with those around me

My ability to be feminine

My ability to be graceful in parking lots

My ability to make my sisters happy. All. The. Time.

My ability to design/make the HOTTEST outfits ever

My ability to dress and look like a super model (far right)

My ability to look pretty WHILE exercising

My ability to look amazing in a swimsuit

My ability to make others look prettier than they already are

My ability to make any pants look good...

Bring on the 30's baby!